writing to entertain pt. 2

I've been putting in the hours at work this last week, round about 90-100 in 9 days although a lot of that has been ad hoc, trying to stay afloat in a sea of booking people into their tours! I do love trying to give the idea of an open ticket to these kids, as in, they have to book it in themselves so I don't have to spend 3 hours a day trying to get time on the one work phone we have between about four people. We look like hobos bickering over a big piece of steak and it doesn't make us look like a good outfit. Nor does an EFTPOS that breaks about 5 times per transaction (I know you read this Andy - please jesus get a new one).

I got dumped by my girlfriend a few days ago although I harbor a few sly hopes it isn't final, we still 'feel' it. It should be final though. She's 31 and has about 900,347 reasons why she shouldn't date me and I'm just ANNOYED at this sort of thing because it just reinforces a the shitty, 'realistic' ideal that when two people like each other... it doesn't actually mean they can be happy together. I'm still not a cynic because I'm a scientist and I know a fucking lack of data-conclusion when I see it and I know what with cultural differences I'm fighting a losing battle but I KNOW that out there exists both a classy, self-respecting girl who is happy to stay with me for concerted periods of time. Say, longer than a month. It would be nice, girls. It would be easier just to throw myself into cheap, travelling clunge but I don't have the heart for it. 

I've been cooking more lately and man alive is it actually better than the cheap slop I find myself ordering for 'conveniences' sake because I'm doing long, breakless shifts 6 days a week. Cooking comes naturally to me now. It makes me remember the good ol' days of Stepney Green.... cooking and washing on rotation... stabbing mice with massive steak knives... Kasmyn.... what a place. What a time.

I hit 'n' run a guy for $300 on 1/2 Omaha online. Plus two of my most successful commission based days today and yesterday. This is whats gonna happen on my next days off

Peace out haters

writing to entertain

Is there anything quite like peeling sweaty skin off a surface? Lying here in bed in my little windowless box (no windows but a curtain! ha!) shifting slightly every 10 minutes to get a little circulation between cheeks and sheets I am left wondering whether or not I should just Falcon Punch a hole in my wall and get some natural light, natural air in here. With my fan perma blowing on me I have a slick, mossy underside and a crisp, aerated topface and the only thing keeping the bugs away is probably the lack of natural light that they need to hide from, the wriggly beasts

I've been drifting a bit in the last week or two, noticing some fucking expansions in the ol' line of waist, extra padding around the line of jaw. The temptation to eat and eat in this city is pretty high, what with the super discounted chinese restaurant next door to work where all the girls are just so god damn nice even though my favourite one left and I felt like sitting outside the shop baying at the moon or just lying down to die like Seymour in Futurama,

That scene always makes me tear up. That girl gave me free tofu and fish head soup when I was ill and it was raining and raining...

Why do I always feel more sorry for the dog then the homeless guy sitting behind him? Its the dependency thing, like that guy is just letting the dog down and the dog doesn't even have a CHOICE, you know, he has to rely on a man who can't even look after himself and I don't see any wild dogs around in Sydney, not that I'd expect to but I hear it happens a lot in asia and considering the geographical location of my shop (Chinatown) I wish there were more dogs around. Even on leashes this place lacks them.

A customer came in having been on a boat I put her on today and she had bedbug bites all up her arms, from that particular boat. She was sweet and seemed completely un-resentful but I put a lot of people on that boat and her feedback was more or less - great place and great boat but the crew and the bedbugs sucked ass.... may have to start recommending a little something else

I've been playing a bit of poker here, online and live. I'm not winning right now but I'm not losing a lot. Highlights include losing a $480 pot to a man I would affectionately describe as a 'Golem', what with his ultra fishy turn call of $120 on QJ34 with his 109 offsuit hoping to catch a big river. When the king came I was like, okay, surely he just had K10? No one would CALL the turn all in with the UNDER straight draw. Yeah, well, goes to show. He jumped up and whopped it on the table, shouting GET IN. It didn't make me feel better that I'd been needling him for some of his other decisions + the Ashes whitewash. He just wanted to get me the bitter bastard, hahah. Maybe I deserved it.

(Note - The Star casinos 10% rake + $5 hourly fee would be laughable if it wasn't a direct shafting that makes it incredibly difficult to play long term, profitable poker)

This was an amusing blog for me, in the sense that it contained a(lot of)musings. Nothing concrete, really, not a lot of tangibility in there. Oh, I more or less have a girlfriend now. We're busy people in the week and I miss her a lot :(

Fucking update

Fucking what? What's changed?

Not much. I'm still here in Sydney grinding away at the sales, making it work. Making it HAPPEN. It's all getting quieter now, all the crazy euros are already up the coast trying to avoid the rain... man oh man. Seeing the flood water in 1770 and getting calls about it blocking the fucking Pacific Highway is hard hahah, people who book £300 sailing adventures in Airlie who suddenly can't turn up for the departure. "Have you got travel insurance pal? No? Well... about that refund you wanted....." To be honest though I have let just one sale go through my fingers in the last 10 days, it is going so swimmingly. It's all about compromising your morals and telling yourself that, hey, these guys are gonna be doing this trip. They may as well do it with me, help me get that ca$h money, lets help them get their dreams.

Love life? What love life?! I was dating a girl for a while, a really really great girl. We parted ways a couple of days ago cause the age difference seemed insurmountable (10 years?) but man you know how young asians look..... I miss her though, you're guaranteed good conversation with this girl. I want to speak to her again, to try and build things back up. I am a big fan. It was a little (euphemism for HORRIBLY) awkward taking her back to my place what with my single bedroom having a fucking curtain for one of the walls. That curtain aint helping anyone. Need to build a nice brick wall so I can have some friggen PRIVACY? Or I need to move out. We'll see how it goes. I love this place to be fair, a great apartment with some really cool people. Get to practice teaching English to the pair of Japanese doctors I live with while playing pool against my other Japanese flatmate (he is pretty friggen good). As for his girlfriend, well, like an older sister to me. I'm being looked after. I want to enjoy this life as much as possible for now before really getting out across Aussie and slumming it, 10 bed dorms minimum. Camping with snakes preferred.

To go deep into my drunken psyche right now I would say that my place in life right now is all about finding new motivations to do the same shit I always do. We all have a reasonably clear idea of where we want to be in life but why do we want to be there? For who or for what? Theres always a source. It's conscious effort though, every day, to rewire. A lady once put it best - 'trying to find new sources of happiness or natural highs in our brains instead of going down the same old paths (that may be self-destructive or damaging)is like going through a jungle with a machete. You need to make new paths, slashing and slashing at all the obstacles in the way. If you lose motivation you'll get back on the same old path and maybe the jungle grows back in the place where you started making inroads before. So work hard and stay motivated"

I think I adlibbed a bit but I hope you get it. Or maybe I don't even really give a SHIT.

Drunken peace out.