JAPAN TUNNEL DISASTER LEADS TO WORLD CLAMOURING FOR TUNNEL BAN

Reuters, 03/12/2012

JAPANESE TUNNEL DISASTER: 9 PEOPLE DEAD - TRAFFIC FLOW DISRUPTED - FRANCE RESPOND

Pres. Hollande: "Ze French people cannot tolerate zese abominaballl car arteries of DEATH anymore"

Front line emergency services fighting to save people trapped in the rubble

While Japan reels from yet another disaster in their "decade of destruction", anti-tunnel lobbying groups are making their voices heard all around Europe.

Today marks the first time a head of state has recognised concerns regarding the issue and it has moved to assuage fears; President Hollande has vowed to cut tunnels by 79% by 2016. This has been seen as a great victory for health and safety concerns and Guillaume Lefitte of "Tunnels? What A Terror!" has released this statement (translated)
"Today is a great day for motorists: no longer will we feel like moles chased by shovels on our daily commutes and trips to la plage. I cannot speak for every person but us T.W.A.T's have warned of this likelihood for decades. Man is not supposed to delve and live under the earth; if we were, we would all have little tentacally feelers on our noses so we could get around without bumping into each other. We are fortunate that we in France have never known the scourge of mining but we hear from our English cousins that anyone going into one of these tunnels can expect dirt under fingernails for a reasonably long time - this moment is also a victory for them. We expect Monsuier Cameron to follow our brave leader's example in the coming days. We are also not ruling out this being a symptom of the upcoming Mayan apocalypse."

This is in keeping with the current "be scared shitless of what happens in Japan" philosophy being followed by most nations in the world. The most notable example of this would be the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Disaster (FDND) in March 2011. A country situated at the join of thousands of miles of tectonic plates fell victim to a tragic tsunami that caused untold destruction and desolation. International support was unanimous and although the UN security council tried to pass a resolution against tidal waves, China and the USA vetoed due to their bare-faced, vested interest in the complete annihilation of any economic competition. Russia took time out from importing chemical weapons to Syria and drinking to denounce this "pacific axis of evil". Iran have garnered acclaim by declaring a fatwa against earthquakes although insider sources claim this is because they haven't done a good enough job in destroying California.

The nuclear disaster precipitated in almost universal denouncement of Nuclear power as an energy source with people everywhere united in a slightly vague, baseless "told you so" attitude towards it all. We spoke to the chairman of the "Countries United: Nuclear is Trouble" about what he thinks should happen with nuclear power.
"Absolute, global abolition of every Nuclear Power station in the world. Look, man has been burning things for thousands of years and you expect us to believe that nuclear power is this 'natural subatomic event'? It's as natural as Heather Mills McCartney on Strictly Come Dancing - and as popular too. Let's just go back to good old coal and be done with it.

We got in touch with some other C.U.N.T's to gauge opinion. Dierdre Fallon,86 from Hartlepool, said this:
"My Uncle Charlie came down with the cancer in 1977. It was because of that bloody plant, it had just been built and I saw in them movies what happens when you go near nuclear power plants what with the extra arms and heads and what not. It's not bloody good enough. And the doctors tried to tell me it was the drinking and the smoking! Can never trust the government..."

Exposure to high levels of radiation is a surefire way to contract cancer and many live in constant fear of the deadly radiation they must be absorbing on a daily basis. One of the few scientific studies conducted on 9000 workers at a nuclear power plant showed no relationship between exposure levels and mortality but people are loth to trust governments, scientists and experts on these matters instead remaining convinced that three-eyed fish are swimming right under our noses - but are being covered up. Fukushima has currently claimed a total of 2 lives (caused by the tsunami impact) and has not to date precipitated in cancer in any of the people in the area. That an aging reactor with obsolete safeguards has to be hit with one of the most deadly earthquake/tsunami combos in history to kill 2 people... we're all probably not joining the dots properly.

To finish, some facts from someone who is not in fact a C.U.N.T:
"The ash released from a coal power plant contains more harmful radiation than any exposure from a nuclear power plant although the radiation exposure from living 'in the shadow' of a coal plant would add 0.5% to our annual radiation absorption from cosmic rays and other everyday sources"
"Much more harmful is the acid rain, smog and monoxide produced by burning fossil fuels, of which Nuclear power plants produce none"
"Chernobyl, the single greatest nuclear power plant event in history, has has a known deathtoll of around 50 people"
"Generic comparison between people killed by cancer due to overeating, smoking, drinking, not exercising, drugs, sun, air pollution could go here. But you get the point"

If these were not good enough reasons to grow a pair, the final reason we should all have nuclear powered televisions and watches:
"As more and more countries turn away from nuclear power, France are selling their own nuclear energy for great profit"

Enough said. A great article can be found here on Germanys decision to abolish Nuclear power and the resulting increase in crossaint's and truffles it will entail in

But how did your bones grow?

"What do you mean?"

You without calcium - right?

"Well you need the... you know... gai4 (鈣 = Calcium)"

and pause. It's a common conception in the West, never mind the East - the idea that without milk your bones will crumble and you will end up looking like Krang, a pile of flesh in mechanical armour. This is not the first time I have heard this when I tell people I can't drink milk and I am only too happy to inform people about the great social fallacy that is our supposed requirement for (cows) milk. I want to talk more about social fallacies than milk so I'll let Tommy from Snatch take it from the top (from 00:29 onwards)

So what is a social fallacy? I like to define it as a collective idea that people are so convinced by that they are happy to share, convince and argue for it but in fact lack any one of sources, source provenance or research into any possible conflicting ideas. Considering how our lives are steeped in a need for convenience and personal success, to expect people to spend a lot of their time doing proper research on any idea they believe in is 100% impossible, but is it possible to expect people to accept the gaps in their own knowledge? Can we temper our debates with disclaimers at every juncture? It may seem hard but humour me. I'll use another couple of food and drink examples to explain the point.  

2 litres of water a day! and cigarettes.

Did you know Hitler pioneered research into smoking which had a massive effect on smoking being declared unhealthy? What an irony. We now universally accept the evil of smoking and modern legislation does as much as it can for the non-smoking demographic (and make no mistake - if enough of the electorate still smoked and wanted to smoke, there would be no bans on smoking anywhere. Democracy - you get what you ask for!) without making serious dents into income collected from nicotine/tobacco taxes. But we had that social fallacy before - that cigarettes were good for us - and we may laugh about it now but there are other things which are equally as misleading. Milk is one of them. One of my personal favourites though is water. This seem's like a weird road to go down because as far as I know I can't blame WATER COMPANY MONOPOLISTS on what I perceive to be a gross overestimate of our water requirements. I just want to ask why a 1945 report on water content is still our guideline for daily required water intake. That  linked articles conclusion - drink when you are thirsty - is a big 'no shit' but it's one of the biggest social fallacies and so, so accepted by people. Keeping in mind in 1945 scientists were happily trying to work out how to make nuclear bullets for infantry and getting behind advertisements like this it does at least make me pause for thought.

So who cares about having too much water? People tend to stop drinking before they overdose on water so it's a harmless social fallacy, right? WRONG. The problem is in acceptance and not asking 'Why?' The benefits of smoking were also a social fallacy and it took decades of overwhelming, unbias research before people started to realise the truth. Living inside the goldfish bowl of our era, it may be another 30 years before we see that having too much water drowns our immune systems and is more or less the only cause for cancer there has ever been. Maybe that isn't true - we may never know! 

Another of the biggest social fallacies is love. I think I've gone way over the limit of a reasonable attention span so that will be for another day but do ask yourself what love is and whether or not we have unreasonable expectations about it, whether or not we are being told what to know about love.What we do know is that we do not have all of the answers and probably never will. Danger lies in being provided with 'the answers' by groups who have vested interests in your opinions. Think as critically as you can about universally accepted recommendations for our lives, using as much evidence as possible to do so. Is it important to do so? Ask the people who smoked because they wished for the wondrous effects that come from smoking Dr Batty's cigarettes. The freedom to smoke is undisputed but convincing society that smoking is good for you merely gives you the illusion of freedom. 

Complete with stamp of authenticity over the right shoulder!

Be ahead of the curve. Remember that being able to look at the goldfish bowl from the outside will give you much greater power to understand and control events inside it. Perfecting it will make you happier and more successful - and it may even make you rich. 

Peace

First world airline complaint - read only if very bored

Waited 15 working days for a reply from this awful excuse of an airline after lodging an issue with them on their website

This is a long issue (15 days, about 6 or 7 phone calls, a lot of lying) so the cliff notes are at the bottom of the complaint

- Tried to change booking 10 minutes after initial booking

- Told on phone I had many weeks in which to change the booking without incurring a changing fee and that I should do it online, not over the phone, which I originally tried to do

- Tried to change on the same day of the initial booking, the website failed to process the payment four times, on two different computers

- Tried to change the following day and website told me to pay $120 changing fee

- Told to write a complaint explaining issue and that agents could listen to recording of initial misleading call. Reply within 3-5 working days

- After 5 working days, told to wait a few days

- After 9 working days, told it would be done within 24 hours

- After 10 working days, told there was no ETA for a resolution

- After 14 working days, told I would get the reply within 24 hours

- After 15 working days, told it would be there at the end of the day

- Given pointless 100 word email reply saying they do not waive the change fee for any reason. Do not allow me access to the phone recording that would incriminate them - only they are allowed to listen to it

- Constant lying and misleading about issue throughout the issue

- Each phone call spending roughly 20 minutes on hold

- Wasting time and money

Phoned up Scoot to change the date of my booking about ten minutes after my original booking and was told on the phone that I could change my booking without incurring a changing fee anytime up to two weeks before the flight (of course at the time I thought this was unlikely but she assured me I could do it). I was also told that I had to change the booking online rather than on the phone and all I would have to pay is the fare difference. I thought - fantastic! 

So I tried to change my booking online using my card, with the fee difference asked for being about $10. At the payment screen the website crashed - three times on my computer, once on my flatmates. I just left it, thinking I was absolutely fine to change it the following day once they sorted out the website. When I tried to do it the following day, the website was telling me to pay a $120 changing fee. I was quite surprised to say the least! I phoned them up to ask them to explain to me what was going on and I was told that actually, you have a 12 hour period of grace whereby you can change the flight without incurring a fee. I was then told I could change it over the phone rather than having to do it online. I responded with the simple point:

- If I knew I had to do it within 12 hours, after the website failed when trying to change it surely I would call you and try to change things, try to sort things out on the day knowing otherwise I would be in trouble

I am still looking for the information about a '12 hour period of grace' on the website and I can't find it. I mean if you're trying to say 'well, you agreed to the 12 hour grace via our terms and conditions/conditions of carriage and if we give you bad advice on the phone that's just your bad luck and you still have to pay the changing fee that you originally agreed to' then at least from a legal point of view you're probably going to be OK but I still can't find where I would have got this vital information. EVEN IF it is written on the website somewhere the fact you TOLD me the wrong information on the phone is bad enough. I was then told to lodge a complaint online with you guys - where you said you would listen to the recording of the original call for me - and you would reply within 3-5 working days. You also told me I would not be able to access the recording of the call myself... so you get to be both defendant AND judge in the issue? SURELY THERE IS A CONFLICT OF INTEREST?

After 5 working days I heard nothing. I phoned up to check on the status of the complaint. You said it would be done very soon, just taking some time to deal with. I accepted this. I was told that I wouldn't be able to speak to the complaints department, the people who I sent the emailed complaint to, at any point, because they don't have phones maybe or something.

I phoned again after 3 working days and was told that I didn't need to worry and that I would have a reply within 24 hours, by email, from the department.

After 24 hours I phoned again and was told that actually, there is no expected time frame for the dealing of my complaint. That they didn't know how long it would take. At this point I expressed my anger about the lying about the time frame - first that it would take 3-5 days to solve, now that it would take 24 hours, now that it has no time frame.

I thought to give it 3 or 4 days. I have to say that I was very scared that the longer I take, the more likely it is the price of the fare I wished to change to will increase or even the ticket will become less available. 

I phoned them up again and asked them if they could kindly hurry up because I need to change it before the fare increases. Although at this point I said I would only speak to a supervisor. The supervisor assured me 24 hours (I phoned at 10am) to get an email response.

The following day at 5pm I hadn't received anything so i called them again. They told me I'd receive something by the end of the day! Which I did! A 100 word email that just said basically 'we don't waive the change fee for any reason. We listened to the phone call and decided you were not misinformed.' Call me arrogant but I put my own English in higher regard than that of Singaporean call centre workers. I want to hear this recording myself! So I can see where I went wrong! The money isn't the point, at all, it's the fact that I tried to change it within the time frame I was told I could (lied to about time frame) and then when I lodged a complaint I waited 15 working days (21 days fully) for a resolution (was lied to about duration of resolution many, many times). It was obvious to me that by delaying the response, they expected me to just change the flight out of fear for the availability of fares or the cost of the fare difference. This in itself is disgusting conduct and in my opinion would warrant a waiving of the fee.

I will pay the fee and change my flight today (I have no choice in case the tickets become unavailable) but that does not change the sick feeling in my gut about being deceived as badly as I have been. If I was told in the very first place that ANY change would have to incur a fee, I would merely blame myself for idiocy and move on. As it is, you guys have provided the worst customer service I have ever received. I want to make people aware of this. You guys are lying, thieving scum.

Cliff Notes

- Tried to change booking 10 minutes after initial booking

- Told on phone I had many weeks in which to change the booking without incurring a changing fee and that I should do it online, not over the phone, which I originally tried to do

- Tried to change on the same day of the initial booking, the website failed to process the payment four times, on two different computers

- Tried to change the following day and website told me to pay $120 changing fee

- Told to write a complaint explaining issue and that agents could listen to recording of initial misleading call. Reply within 3-5 working days

- After 5 working days, told to wait a few days

- After 9 working days, told it would be done within 24 hours

- After 10 working days, told there was no ETA for a resolution

- After 14 working days, told I would get the reply within 24 hours

- After 15 working days, told it would be there at the end of the day

- Given pointless 100 word email reply saying they do not waive the change fee for any reason. Do not allow me access to the phone recording that would incriminate them - only they are allowed to listen to it

- Constant lying and misleading about issue throughout the issue

- Each phone call spending roughly 20 minutes on hold

- Wasting time and money

why you should tell your kids to go to university

My degree prepared me to work in a lab and make advances in the field of pharmaceutical research but I can happily state I will never, ever do this for a job in my life.

It cost me ~£33,000 to come to this conclusion and with new fees it may cost you £50,000, if you go to London like I did.

How do I feel? Like I wasted my time and my money? Never. Sometimes it's the elephant in the room when you talk with people about it. I would love to pick other peoples brains on this, those who feel the degree is specifically and only a precursor to a career... hell, their first argument would be 'why would I spend so much money on time on something like that and not use it?'

Well, here is why I think going to university is worth it no matter what. I won't directly disagree with the above assertion because it makes a lot of sense... but I didn't know what I wanted to do for a career when I was 17 - how many people do? If you can make that 10+ year decision at 17 you're an incredibly focused person and I admire you. For everyone else, here are five reasons you should feel great if you don't want to go on and do what it is you read at uni....

I even order them in terms of how important they are (to me) and some of the points overlap.

The people

University will be the best opportunity in your life to meet people who will change your life for the better. This is an indisputable point and I will argue it until I'm blue in the face - although no one has ever disagreed with me on it. How can you? Where else can you bring together thousands and thousands of people, probably living away from home for the first time, to one place to study and learn and develop? Everyone so desperate to find a place for themselves.. it brings you together. I have more lifelong friends from 3 years at uni then I do the previous 18 at home! Anyway. Be inspired by your lecturers, encouraged by your peers and maybe even loved by someone real hot - university can make it happen for you. 

Freedom and time to make a choice

If there's a career 'ladder' then you start low and climb high over the course of years, which ladder do you want to climb up? Do you know yet? Which doors do you want to go through? This is a central feature of university, scoffed at by many as people who 'don't want to grow up and join the real world'. There will come a time in my life when I specialise in some certain field and more and more ladders are taken away but that won't be now - what a terrible thought that I could have chosen my entire life path already? And I feel this way at 22. At 17 and 18... forget about it. You go to university, you keep doors open. Hopefully you have some idea of the direction you want to go in so you can choose a course that keeps the right doors open. If you don't know even that, don't worry about it. Choose something you're interested in and go from there.  

Opportunities

The UK, perhaps USA and perhaps Australian work market is open to you, person without degree. What about everywhere else? Forget about europe or asia, they've been offering ultra cheap higher education for decades, a degree is a pre-requisite to get an interview anywhere. If you don't plan to go abroad then that's all good and easy but it's all about those ladders, how many do you want to choose from? Just like above, uni gives you the time and freedom to delay choosing your ladders, to find inspiration and ideas from the people you meet... but how many ladders you have to choose from will greatly decrease by not going to university - even on a domestic scale. You find a lot of people who don't go to university won't be interested in doing graduate-style jobs anyway so you may hear that this 'opportunities' ideal is a load of bollocks. Bollocks to them my unsure friends, hedge your bets and keep as many ladders to hand as possible.

Growing the f*** up

How many people who don't go to university move out of their family home at 18? It's kind of chastening to hear about 'the university of real life' from people who still live with their mum and dad but there you go. If I didn't go to uni I would as well so this isn't a sleight - it's just a fact. Living by yourself, you will find out what type of person you are - be receptive to yourself during this time because some people thrive and some people suffer and if you realise this as you live it you can make great leaps forward in your personal development. You may have to make more of an effort than you did before depending on your home life and that is a necessary and beautiful thing in this day and age! Learn to cook. It helps in so many ways... ;)

Fun!

Enjoy yourself man! How desperate are you to take on a job, responsibilities, bills? Why let anyone else whinging that you've 'got it easy' get you down? Screw them. I had more fun at university then I have had at almost any other point in my life, although travelling is pushing it a close second. I guarantee almost all of you will not have the time or energy to have this much fun again until you retire - and when you retire, you'll be old man! Maybe with kids. Much less getting smashed and going home with the fattest person at the bar. That's a beautiful thing no matter how you look at it...

As for the financial argument against going to university - here are some links.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2011/aug/24/earnings-by-qualification-degree-level#data 

Top table shows average hourly pay for graduates vs non graduates

http://ww2.prospects.ac.uk/cms/ShowPage/Home_page/Main_menu___Research/Labour_market_information/Labour_market_FAQs/How_do_graduate_and_non_graduate_salaries_compare_/p!elkFpLg

An age based earnings table - watch as the graduates earnings grow and grow with age!

There are specialist non-academic careers (like piloting) that fall outside the bounds of the financial argument but everything else stands. Note I didn't put making more money as a reason to go to university - it doesn't make my top five... but the evidence is posted in those links for you to see.

Tell your kids to go to university, it'll be the best thing they ever do.

Thoughts and lessons after my first big adventure

So I'm back in Sturdee now, slowly but surely unpacking all of my stuff while disturbing the immense piles of dust that have formed all over the bachelor pad that is my childhood home. One working man and three bedrooms does not a well-maintained house make! But I forget my dog! I don't think he has been taught to clean properly yet so outside of his occasional attempts to mop the kitchen floor using his urine I expect to be slowly but surely blowing the cobwebs out of most of this place in an attempt to make it livable for me for the next couple of months. I remember when Tom used to come home from university and me and Dad would be living practically in our own filth and he would get so angry at us... I like to think I'm approaching this problem in a different way although it is staggering to go somewhere else to then come back here, where cleanliness gets forsook so hard

I wanted to impart a few bits of (pseudo)wisdom to people after living away from home for half a year in case they wanted to do some travelling themselves or happened to be in love. I might go on a bit because I have so much (!) free time, applying for jobs all over again is eye-rollingly boring although getting rejected by McDonalds was a bit of a harsh one to take for the ego. Some of these points may be paraphrased although the points themselves are first-hand experienced.

Lesson 1 (Guys) - Do not compromise your higher purpose for a girl 

It doesn't even matter if you don't know your higher purpose yet - finding that out is a different matter. Massive amounts of getting out there and trying stuff out/self-reflection sessions will help. Anyway - men are supposed to have higher purposes and girls will be more attracted to those who clearly do have said purpose. It doesn't have to be a career purpose although that isn't a bad one to have... the moment you make a girl your higher/sole purpose, count the days until that relationship ends or she leaves you, brother. Stay focused and driven, she wants you to find a beautiful balance between YOUR life and hers. If you can't find that balance because the two facets don't overlap... well, you'll have some hard decisions to make but it would be better to end a relationship that might in the future burst back into flame then to have a damp squib of a compromised relationship that ends in a whimper. Imagine if a man spent his whole life wanting to be a soldier. He was dedicated and trained hard and then he was due to go out on tour and his girlfriend of many years (obviously) begs him not to go, scared for his safety. Should he turn around at the door and stay, for her? Is that what she really wants? Because she knows what it is he wants and has wanted for years. Think about it.

Lesson 2 - Keep a diary when you're travelling (+ don't lose your photos)

When the travelling ends and it's back home there is a certain feeling of emptiness because you are no longer being fulfilled by the new things you're seeing and doing. For the moments of grey, make sure you have something to refer to. Back your photos up onto your laptop often - my camera got nicked 3 days before I left Oz and I only saved about 30 photos you know? It sucks. I didn't keep a diary either although I did in moments of extreme loneliness write to myself to try and Harry Potter-style pensieve the memories away. Make an extra effort to do it. It isn't worth finding out when it messes up.

Lesson 3 - Do not change your money until you get into the country itself and look around for a good rate. 

Think about it. If you managed a ForEX branch who is your demographic? The travelling citizens of the country you're based in. The currency of the country you're staying in will be what you take the most. These companies want foreign money the most. Bring it into the country first and change it, I promise you'll get a better deal 10 times out of 10. Also look around first, I was ripped off big time in Bali airport by three customs guys at the airport who insisted I changed my money before I left the airport, saying they wouldn't let me through unless I changed more than the little bit I already changed (I figured change a little bit and then go look around right?) Three big guys who were carrying my bags bullshitted me into changing it at an awful rate at the airport, about 8000 for a dollar. I should have got 10000 per dollar so we're talking a big difference. 

Lesson 4 - In an outdoor market in an Asian country, whatever price you get offered in most places divide it by 10, negotiate from that point and settle somewhere around 5-8 times cheaper than their original price

Start very low but show a keen interest in the product. You need to play this exhausting game with almost every purchase. You do need to let them feel like they've got your price up though - its better to start at 10x less and settle on 5x than to go down to 5x as a first price and then stay there the whole time. That way they don't feel like they've been beaten so badly. I was told by an Irish girl "oh, these people who get so upset about paying a dollar more than someone else who is even cheaper are so annoying". I said the same thing to her as I say to you people - "It's the principle, not the money"

Lesson 5 - It's called "backpacking" for a reason. You need to be able to carry what you pack all on your back

Even in developed countries, pulling suitcases with wheels along roads and pavements and stairs is a fucking nightmare. Get a high quality backpack that can carry 10-20kg, a smaller backpack that can do ~7kg and put that one on the front of your body when you're walking around. Keep your arms free and your movements flexible. Once you go anywhere that isn't the developed world with a wheeled suitcase, you are f**ked.

I'm gonna go apply for some more jobs but I'll post some more as they come to me. If you've got this far in my post, enjoy.

NEW EXPERIENCES...!

So I've covered about 4000km in the last 9 days and I've done more stuff 'for the first time' than maybe I've done in the last 21 years? Waking up with a big smile on my face and straight, pulled back shoulders isn't something I've always done so fucking pinch me cause I'm really doing this stuff

Let me go on record and say that scuba diving is probably the coolest thing I've ever done. Imagine all the spiritual and mortality cliches you can think of and it probably still doesn't cut it. I'm probably in more danger crossing the road the way I do than being 8 metres under the sea but it is so, so surreal. You gotta do it. Anyone in Cairns. Do it. Don't make excuses and don't just snorkel. I want a tattoo symbolising the ocean... watch this space.

What else I've been doing - sailing through tropical islands on top of the reef. Grade 4 white water rapids. A spiderman bungy. Going from having only jumped off the lowest diving board to a 50m bungy/5m rapid rock jumps in a few days has been an experience. Doing this sort of shit... to compare.. If you're lucky enough to get into a fight there'll be this terrifying moment where the other guy looks like he's going to hit you and your stomach is turning somersaults and then POW, he does, and rather than exploding into a thousand pieces you're still alive and the nervousness in your stomach is gone and you're filled with this righteous euphoric rage that someone has FAILED to stifle YOUR existence and just to prove it you may even punch right back but even grinning and showing him passive contempt is good enough - in some ways even better. That's how it feels to push your own boundaries so completely and I wouldn't wish a life of wondering and what if's on my biggest ENEMY. Don't avoid leaps of faith.

I start my new job on Thursday and man alive am I looking forward to it. The freedom I think I'm going to be getting in this position is making me moist - even if it's only to have my own music playlist in the shop I'll be looking at music psychology as a sale aid.

I'm sitting in Byron Bay and I'm gonna be here another two nights. They put me up in the King bedroom for freesies! What a life.

For now, on a beautiful day, peace.

Goodbye to fucking... Sydney. For now.

So I'm writing this from a hotel room and I have 12 minutes and 40 seconds of internet left. Having sold internet to people for four months I now understand their pain! I need to hurry this up!

My bus picks me up at 8:55am and I'm going to be 2000miles away a couple of hours after that. The whole area I'm going to has been deluged by flooding and thunderstorms are predicted for the next few days so I'm sceptical about just how much I'm going to enjoy this trip. I'm definitely doing a rainforest trip, a reef day trip + dive, 3day/2night sailing boat, a 10 hour bus journey and 3 nights in a double deluxe hotel room for a total of $160 so, you know, even if it rains I daresay I'll be the happiest person about. I bought a new camera recently so goddamn I'm looking forward to showing you guys what I'm seeing in reasonable quality

Saying goodbye is such a beautiful feeling in such a sick way... being left behind is the hardest part, you imagine the other person is having the best time and the best adventures while you remain static. Maybe this feeling is something I should talk to someone about......

Special mention to Rawan and Maysam right now. They're studying and working hard and I'm always thinking about them. The best of us.

Signing out, 4 minutes left, will report back later with some fucking stories about the GREAT BARRIER REEF

My thanks go to

Today I will mostly be appreciating other people for making my life in general better

Laying the groundwork for a Sydney escape right now. I could go in any which direction but I think the first direction has got to be up, up, UP the East Coast of Australia. The peerless Andy Dennis is going to be giving me some cut price tours and for that I am eternally grateful; hope to quid pro quo things from a sales perspective in the coming weeks cause I want to feel like I've EARNT it. Will try and make another $5K for you this week!

A customer who became a good mate of mine just left to head up to Brisbane to plant Strawberrys - $50 every thousand seeds. Sitting in a pub with him discussing ways to abuse this system made me feel at ease in a way I haven't really felt since I've been here. For a guy who worked simultaneous day and night jobs to come travel, from a tiny little town in Scotland: too much respect. Getting pissed with you, Dan, was an absolute pleasure. Hanging about outside Scubar chatting to the dregs of traveller society at 4am could not have been fun without you so make sure to come and see me when I'm passing through and I'll do my best to think more and more only about the next two minutes!

I bought a new phone the other day. My $15 one isn't cutting the mustard and my Samsung Galaxy Ace fills me with techy, nerdy joy with every touchy swipe. I had a Galaxy Portal before that was fucking awful but I kept faith in the brand and I haven't been let down. I purchased it at 'cost price' aka at ~0% profit for vendor from my ex girlfriends phone shop so special credit goes to her. Names and prices will not be shared for security purposes (hahaha). Love for Melissa as well.

I chatted to my Nana for the first time in a month or so the other night and she did what only she can do - made me feel accepting and okay with my own flaws and difficulties while giving me sound advice on how to sort things out. I spent at least an hour talking about her and my family with Dan on his last night. Having Nana spend 5 hours cooking Christmas dinner for about 12 people (8 people + me, eating 4 servings) and then refuse to sit and eat with us until my uncle positively FORCES her into a chair was one ritual. The way I would ask for a small bowl of Jelly and then say no to her offers of  'ice cream? custard? a mince pie? trifle?' only to be given a bowl containing all of them.... that's my Nana and I love her a lot.

Special mention to Jack, heading to NZ on Friday! Tear it up my man, I'll be with you soon

Peace.

writing to entertain pt. 2

I've been putting in the hours at work this last week, round about 90-100 in 9 days although a lot of that has been ad hoc, trying to stay afloat in a sea of booking people into their tours! I do love trying to give the idea of an open ticket to these kids, as in, they have to book it in themselves so I don't have to spend 3 hours a day trying to get time on the one work phone we have between about four people. We look like hobos bickering over a big piece of steak and it doesn't make us look like a good outfit. Nor does an EFTPOS that breaks about 5 times per transaction (I know you read this Andy - please jesus get a new one).

I got dumped by my girlfriend a few days ago although I harbor a few sly hopes it isn't final, we still 'feel' it. It should be final though. She's 31 and has about 900,347 reasons why she shouldn't date me and I'm just ANNOYED at this sort of thing because it just reinforces a the shitty, 'realistic' ideal that when two people like each other... it doesn't actually mean they can be happy together. I'm still not a cynic because I'm a scientist and I know a fucking lack of data-conclusion when I see it and I know what with cultural differences I'm fighting a losing battle but I KNOW that out there exists both a classy, self-respecting girl who is happy to stay with me for concerted periods of time. Say, longer than a month. It would be nice, girls. It would be easier just to throw myself into cheap, travelling clunge but I don't have the heart for it. 

I've been cooking more lately and man alive is it actually better than the cheap slop I find myself ordering for 'conveniences' sake because I'm doing long, breakless shifts 6 days a week. Cooking comes naturally to me now. It makes me remember the good ol' days of Stepney Green.... cooking and washing on rotation... stabbing mice with massive steak knives... Kasmyn.... what a place. What a time.

I hit 'n' run a guy for $300 on 1/2 Omaha online. Plus two of my most successful commission based days today and yesterday. This is whats gonna happen on my next days off

Peace out haters

writing to entertain

Is there anything quite like peeling sweaty skin off a surface? Lying here in bed in my little windowless box (no windows but a curtain! ha!) shifting slightly every 10 minutes to get a little circulation between cheeks and sheets I am left wondering whether or not I should just Falcon Punch a hole in my wall and get some natural light, natural air in here. With my fan perma blowing on me I have a slick, mossy underside and a crisp, aerated topface and the only thing keeping the bugs away is probably the lack of natural light that they need to hide from, the wriggly beasts

I've been drifting a bit in the last week or two, noticing some fucking expansions in the ol' line of waist, extra padding around the line of jaw. The temptation to eat and eat in this city is pretty high, what with the super discounted chinese restaurant next door to work where all the girls are just so god damn nice even though my favourite one left and I felt like sitting outside the shop baying at the moon or just lying down to die like Seymour in Futurama,

That scene always makes me tear up. That girl gave me free tofu and fish head soup when I was ill and it was raining and raining...

Why do I always feel more sorry for the dog then the homeless guy sitting behind him? Its the dependency thing, like that guy is just letting the dog down and the dog doesn't even have a CHOICE, you know, he has to rely on a man who can't even look after himself and I don't see any wild dogs around in Sydney, not that I'd expect to but I hear it happens a lot in asia and considering the geographical location of my shop (Chinatown) I wish there were more dogs around. Even on leashes this place lacks them.

A customer came in having been on a boat I put her on today and she had bedbug bites all up her arms, from that particular boat. She was sweet and seemed completely un-resentful but I put a lot of people on that boat and her feedback was more or less - great place and great boat but the crew and the bedbugs sucked ass.... may have to start recommending a little something else

I've been playing a bit of poker here, online and live. I'm not winning right now but I'm not losing a lot. Highlights include losing a $480 pot to a man I would affectionately describe as a 'Golem', what with his ultra fishy turn call of $120 on QJ34 with his 109 offsuit hoping to catch a big river. When the king came I was like, okay, surely he just had K10? No one would CALL the turn all in with the UNDER straight draw. Yeah, well, goes to show. He jumped up and whopped it on the table, shouting GET IN. It didn't make me feel better that I'd been needling him for some of his other decisions + the Ashes whitewash. He just wanted to get me the bitter bastard, hahah. Maybe I deserved it.

(Note - The Star casinos 10% rake + $5 hourly fee would be laughable if it wasn't a direct shafting that makes it incredibly difficult to play long term, profitable poker)

This was an amusing blog for me, in the sense that it contained a(lot of)musings. Nothing concrete, really, not a lot of tangibility in there. Oh, I more or less have a girlfriend now. We're busy people in the week and I miss her a lot :(

Fucking update

Fucking what? What's changed?

Not much. I'm still here in Sydney grinding away at the sales, making it work. Making it HAPPEN. It's all getting quieter now, all the crazy euros are already up the coast trying to avoid the rain... man oh man. Seeing the flood water in 1770 and getting calls about it blocking the fucking Pacific Highway is hard hahah, people who book £300 sailing adventures in Airlie who suddenly can't turn up for the departure. "Have you got travel insurance pal? No? Well... about that refund you wanted....." To be honest though I have let just one sale go through my fingers in the last 10 days, it is going so swimmingly. It's all about compromising your morals and telling yourself that, hey, these guys are gonna be doing this trip. They may as well do it with me, help me get that ca$h money, lets help them get their dreams.

Love life? What love life?! I was dating a girl for a while, a really really great girl. We parted ways a couple of days ago cause the age difference seemed insurmountable (10 years?) but man you know how young asians look..... I miss her though, you're guaranteed good conversation with this girl. I want to speak to her again, to try and build things back up. I am a big fan. It was a little (euphemism for HORRIBLY) awkward taking her back to my place what with my single bedroom having a fucking curtain for one of the walls. That curtain aint helping anyone. Need to build a nice brick wall so I can have some friggen PRIVACY? Or I need to move out. We'll see how it goes. I love this place to be fair, a great apartment with some really cool people. Get to practice teaching English to the pair of Japanese doctors I live with while playing pool against my other Japanese flatmate (he is pretty friggen good). As for his girlfriend, well, like an older sister to me. I'm being looked after. I want to enjoy this life as much as possible for now before really getting out across Aussie and slumming it, 10 bed dorms minimum. Camping with snakes preferred.

To go deep into my drunken psyche right now I would say that my place in life right now is all about finding new motivations to do the same shit I always do. We all have a reasonably clear idea of where we want to be in life but why do we want to be there? For who or for what? Theres always a source. It's conscious effort though, every day, to rewire. A lady once put it best - 'trying to find new sources of happiness or natural highs in our brains instead of going down the same old paths (that may be self-destructive or damaging)is like going through a jungle with a machete. You need to make new paths, slashing and slashing at all the obstacles in the way. If you lose motivation you'll get back on the same old path and maybe the jungle grows back in the place where you started making inroads before. So work hard and stay motivated"

I think I adlibbed a bit but I hope you get it. Or maybe I don't even really give a SHIT.

Drunken peace out.

Debts/Medicine

Hi Dad,

Your message is acknowledged. My reply is for you and everyone! Who likes to read something! To be honest if you spend 2 minutes reading this as opposed to 2 minutes leafing through someone taking 80 pictures of themselves at a club, well, I'm doing you a favour.

Yeah I got paid today! Finally!!! 6 days after schedule and 6 weeks after starting work here. I got paid for 4 weeks and it's just the first two (and the last week), before I had an official punching in system, that I will need to sort out next. I'm settling a bit more into my shoes with regards to my job, my manager is a tough bastard on me and others if we don't make the sales happen but it's ok, this last week I earned myself about £90/$135 in commission (about a days wages as extra!) and I'm getting better and better.

I'm not talking to my ex now, unfortunately. Being friends with her is too hard, we spent a while doing that/dating but things have just changed too much, I think how happy we were when we were together at uni as a perfect storm of circumstances and in a 'real' place it doesn't work, neither of us are finding happiness. The what ifs aren't preying on me like they used to. It does hurt though. Sometimes it's the little things that get you - for me it's that I don't really fly on her emotional radar anymore, that it's easier for her than me to be platonic. The way I fall back on these little paranoid struggles of power bothers me immensely. I want to apologise directly to a girl I was with during my time at uni and to whom I was guilty of the same insensitivity... and inconsistency. Some of you may know who I mean. It is a comfort that I feel like I deserve this. The feeling of shame and failure weighs not lightly either although that is getting better every day.

Getting this pay has taken a weight on my mind I didn't even know I had. I hope it is a long time before I live on two bowls of cereal a day again although it teaches me. All of my shorts and trousers don't fit me anymore, they fall down constantly! Thank you Yi-Han for lending me the money for rent. Asking made me feel this tall though hahahah *thumb and forefinger*.

Let's clear the debts, taste the medicine and move on.

EDIT - Lost my commission per hour bonus on my last day performance!! So got much less as a bonus